I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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