guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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