You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize