It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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