"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
