We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
