He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?