I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
