Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
