i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
