I feel like abortions should bother me more
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
