Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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