I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
