i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize