called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
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If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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