So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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