atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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