Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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