If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
