I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize