I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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