You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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