They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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