You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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