Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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(205): I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed http://tfl.nu/lr4z

Replies (18) Good night (2160) Bad night (4037)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

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(404): Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while. http://tfl.nu/n1x9

Replies (24) Good night (5513) Bad night (1557)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!

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(513): I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR! http://tfl.nu/4gxu

Replies (10) Good night (3325) Bad night (1105)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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(248): Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars http://tfl.nu/5z1n

Replies (10) Good night (5051) Bad night (1210)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

(575): View more from New Mexico

Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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(575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db

Replies (9) Good night (2362) Bad night (887)
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(516): View more from New York

oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick

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(516): oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick http://tfl.nu/bh3i

Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (571)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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(704): He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was... http://tfl.nu/35ga

Replies (3) Good night (978) Bad night (696)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.

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(480): I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups. http://tfl.nu/acv0

Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (548)
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(757): View more from Virginia

All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.

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(757): All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/k2dr

Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (578)
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(801): View more from Utah

I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

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(801): I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow. http://tfl.nu/o553

Replies (8) Good night (1281) Bad night (871)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.

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(609): I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs. http://tfl.nu/0efw

Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (395)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime

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(856): he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime http://tfl.nu/17r4

Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (369)
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(812): View more from Indiana

we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.

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(812): we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever. http://tfl.nu/pdge

Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (321)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick

(216): View more from Ohio

In a very non respectful way

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(216): Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick (216): In a very non respectful way http://tfl.nu/zvpk

Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (220)
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(818): View more from California

I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.

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(818): I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent. http://tfl.nu/y82h

Replies (6) Good night (642) Bad night (172)

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