I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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