We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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