I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH