Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere. http://tfl.nu/rhba
  Replies (22) Good night (1308) Bad night (6751)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off. http://tfl.nu/wwj4
  Replies (11) Good night (3689) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands http://tfl.nu/k9zw
  Replies (10) Good night (4488) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat. http://tfl.nu/m2ko
  Replies (9) Good night (5279) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her http://tfl.nu/pixb
  Replies (6) Good night (872) Bad night (3896)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about http://tfl.nu/idfh
  Replies (23) Good night (1452) Bad night (6294)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life. http://tfl.nu/j431
  Replies (54) Good night (7125) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/awr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded. http://tfl.nu/tq2s
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (1604)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate. http://tfl.nu/ujin
  Replies (7) Good night (2581) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/tfa8
  Replies (6) Good night (1077) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need Jameson.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I need Jameson. (240): Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot. http://tfl.nu/qo8a
  Replies (7) Good night (1352) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you? http://tfl.nu/ngi1
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar. http://tfl.nu/gbhh
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea..... http://tfl.nu/kqab
  Replies (4) Good night (347) Bad night (923)

Randomize