I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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