even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
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I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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