Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
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You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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