OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize