Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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