I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
