remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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