But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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