Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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