i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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