At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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