mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize