threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I would fuck him just for his dog
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
