I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
