I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
