If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
zippers are such a cool invention
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize