I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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