she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much