kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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