ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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