Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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