yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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