now i know why i became what i already was.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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