I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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