you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
