I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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